What Did I Miss?

I like running. Actually, let me rearticulate that, I really like running. So when an injury crept up on me earlier this summer, I was forced to modify my training routine and rediscovered what was really important in my life.

In early July, after a nice relaxing 45 minute nap in my local MRI tube, I was informed by my orthopedic physician that I needed to stop running for a few months. I’ve heard this speech before so I was somewhat prepared for it. I immediately accepted my fate and like any semi-demented runner, thought to myself, “I can accept this, I’ll just have to increase my training in other areas”. A few years ago, the same orthopedic physician (who is a runner), informed me that I, “Should not run for at least one year”. Well, that one year turned into 15 months of no running, but turned me into a cycling and swimming monster. A few months ago, when he broke the bad news to me once again, he immediately knew what I was going to ask next, and responded “If you ask when you can start running again, I am going to extend your down time by one month”. I got the picture.

Naturally my wife pretended to be sad that I wouldn’t be able to run for a few months. Now my wife loves me and I’m sure she doesn’t want to see me injured or in pain, but when I broke the news to her, she had very hard time trying to conceal her devious smile. My wife has a terrible poker face. My wife frequently admits that she loves it when I’m home. I’m lucky; most guys I know have wives who like when they’re out of the house and out of their hair. I take it as a compliment that my wife likes it when I am around, as long as I shower and shave occasionally. My wife gets extremely nervous when I head out for a 2+ hour run in the woods. I wonder if she thinks I’m going to find an undiscovered tribe in the woods of suburban Boston and take up residency. She didn’t have to say the words. After 10+ years of marriage, I knew exactly what she was thinking………."I have him for the entire summer”. It was as if she had an LCD screen for a forehead and horrible video loops of us shopping, picnicking, painting the bathroom, and planting flowers were endlessly playing. Like the one that had us shopping for new bed sheets at Bed Bath & Beyond while my running club was out, well, out running. I imagined another video that had us picking out curtains at Linen & Things on a Thursday evening, which is the night when my running club holds its weekly headlamp run. Another video had me planting flowers on Marathon Monday. The horror, how could she be smiling? I love spending time and shopping with my wife, she is an amazing and incredible human being. But I always made sure that spending time and the shopping thing didn't conflict with my running schedule.

Am I addicted to running? Yes. Do I love spending time with my family? Yes. Has the balance between the two loves of my life been out of whack? More often than not I hate to admit. Have I taken personal days at work so I could get in a few more long workouts before a big race? Yes. You get the idea.

One of the benefits of being on the sideline for a period of time is that you realize what you miss at home when you’re out on the trails banging out the miles. The first week of not being able to run seemed like a gift. I caught up with all my little unfinished projects around the house that always seemed to take a back seat to running.Before my injury, there were countless times that I would place my running ahead of my own family. Did I feel the shame in sneaking out the house in my running shoes while my boys were playing in their room? Not really, it was just something I did. In the past I frequently left two little boys with sad faces in the driveway holding their wiffleball bats and balls. All they wanted to do was to play Red Sox vs. Yankees in the backyard for a few minutes with Daddy, but my running always came first. How could I play wiffleball when I had to get my miles in, I had to check off the box on my training schedule. I thought I could play wiffleball anytime, there was no such thing as a wiffleball schedule. My running schedule said I had to run, and I did. Didn’t they know Daddy was training for the next big race? They should have, come on, they are 6 and 3 years old. Why couldn’t they understand how important it was to Daddy that he shaves a few seconds of his 20k time? Imagine that, blowing off my two boys for a run. Where were my priorities?

I had an epiphany that I will never forget during my second week of running inactivity. My oldest son came up to me and said, “Daddy, it’s awesome when you play with us every day”. Ouch!!!! Image that, a 6 year old pointing out to an adult how nice it is to spend time together. I felt like a schmuck. From that moment I vowed that I would never put anything, especially training, ahead of time with my family. In the future, I will strive for a balance. I know I can do it. I need to do it. I have to do it. I will do it.

I always thought that when my family came to a race with me, they were there to check out Daddy competing. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure my wife likes checking me out in my wetsuit or tri-suit (Hey-Now). I know, like I’ve stated before in other blog entries, I’m an idiot. I’m a guy, we like Maxim Magazine, beer, sports, fast cars, and fast women (not necessarily in that order). One of the greatest things after finishing a race has to be when my family finds me; I get a big group hug and plenty of kisses. Before my injury, I just assumed I received all those hugs and kisses because they were watching the clock and were impressed with my time. Ok, it would be a good time to throw in the idiot quote again, but I will spare you, way too obvious. Well, I finally realized they didn’t care about my time, my wife didn't like checking me out my tight tri-suit (well, maybe she does, she won’t admit it though), my family wouldn’t care if I finished first or last, they don’t care about the clock. I would get the same hugs and kisses if I DNF'd or finished first overall. It took an injury to realize that the people I love just want to be there and spend time with me. To quote the great Homer Simpson, “Dooh”.

I'm proud to announce that I recently completed my first run in over two months. It was a nice easy 5 mile off-road jaunt with my running club. Everything went fine, no post run pain. I'm on my way back. It is not too late to train for the incredible fall races offered here in the Northeast. And it is not too late for some great wiffleball games in the backyard.

So what did I do this summer? Hopefully if you ask my boys, they will tell you they had the coolest summer ever. I hope they would tell you about hanging out with Daddy everyday in the pool, about Daddy playing wiffleball with them, about our hikes and bike rides, about our adventure days, and ultimately I hope they would tell you that Daddy was there for them.

What else did I do this summer? Well if you happen to visit me at home and see my smiling wife, please ask her to see our new bed sheets, the fresh paint in the bathroom, the new curtains, and the lovely flowers around my house.